Join the fun without the “run”… Join the Quartzsiters in Jasper for the SECOND annual- first of its kind of “race” in this area- celebrating the underachiever.
Help us raise money to continue restoring the historic Jasper High School, which is newly listed on the National Register of Historic Places. (It just happens to be the Quartziter Days festival this weekend as well, so come early for the walking taco lunch, the vendor fair and inflatables for kids, or stay later for the parade and street dance!)
If you like to support a good cause and have fun, but just can’t bother to use anything but the most MINIMAL effort, then THIS is the Run … um, Walk of your dreams!
Grab yourself a tasty beverage, (beer, root beer or water all provided) and view the sights as you stroll leisurely along this 500 meter course- the quaint neighborhood homes, the giant beige water tower- and marvel at the majestic hand-cut rose quartzite stones that make up the old building you’re circling. (never mind running, can you IMAGINE the effort to cut those rocks and hoist them up and stack them? Gee, i need a nap just thinking about it…)
The course will circle the historic Jasper High School on the corner of east Main Street and Hill Ave in Jasper, MN.
The registration table and starting/finish line will be located near the main front doors of the school on the from (west) lawn., and follow the sidewalk down to the street.
Cones and chalk markings will direct you along the route, so DON’T RUSH, saunter saucily or lollygag as you like, and just follow the person in front of you if you think you’ll get lost. The route will follow the streets around the school, making a circle, passing the carb-loading, energy-boosting tent (read:donuts and coffee/smoke break- YAY!), because running is hard, yo- and finally, return to the front entrance of the school, where you can make a victorious finish line crossing, and take your place on the podium to celebrate your accomplishment with the most minimal of efforts! Then head to the beverage tent to cool down with a cold beer (21 and over only!) root beer or water to toast your amazing achievement.
This event is sanctioned by RUNNERs Anonymous- “Runners” Using Nearly No Effort in Races
and LACES- Lazy Athletes Conserving Energy in Sports
This is during the Jasper Quartzsiter Days annual celebration weekend so there is TONS of fun stuff to do Friday and Saturday. Food, bands, music, inflatables.
There is camping available on school grounds- no electrical/water at this stage but will update if that is an option.
Join the Facebook Group for the fastest updates to the event. We will be releasing more details as we get closer. We promise it will be fun like you’ve never had, with less work than you’ve ever had to do!
Goodies and Participant Swag Bags
IF YOU WANT A T-SHIRT ON RACE DAY , and you KNOW you do!!!
YOU MUST REGISTER PRIOR TO JULY 5. REGISTRATIONS AFTER THAT DATE WILL NEED TO PICK UP THEIR SHIRT 2-3 WEEKS AFTER THE EVENT.
All finishers will receive a pretentious 0.5k Finisher sticker that you can put on your car to brag about your athletic prowess and generosity of supporting good causes.
T-shirts featuring the awesome vintage Quartzsiter with 1930’s style art deco text as a nod to the school’s history and the 1930’s gymnasium addition.
Everyone should stay well hydrated considering your “race” packet contains TWO beverage tickets, one for pre-race hydration and one for post race celebration… beer, root beer, water, the choice is yours!
Participation medals – because we recognize ALL effort and achievement, no matter what. Everyone gets a medal!
Swag bags may contain more goodies from our sponsors as we receive more support.
Carb loading/energy station with donuts and coffee halfway around for “runners” needing a pick-me-up. (Also designated smoking area for those “runners” in need of a puff part-way thru)
Finish line photo selfie station with props for your amusement! Hop on the podium and commemorate your victorious finish!
Don’t forget to take lots of photos!
Costumes strongly encouraged, be creative and awards will be given!
Yard games on the front lawn for your entertainment both after registration waiting for the start of the race, and afterwards while you “cool down” and socialize prior to the community potluck that will be held at the park (or Memorial Hall in case of weather).
There will be a medical tent for anyone needing assistance, splinters, band aids, fans or just a place to lie down and be fanned if you over exert yourself. But just remember, if you break a sweat, you’re doing it wrong! HAHA!
VIRTUAL PARTICIPANT PACKS are available!! Couldn’t make it to the race? Are you the ULTIMATE UNDERACHIEVER and just too lazy to expend the effort to come, but still want to brag about what an amazing supporter and race winner you are? Well, you can STILL support our effort AND receive the limited edition T shirt, participant medal and car decal sticker! PLEASE ALLOW ABOUT 2 WEEKS to process order and receive your prize pack as items are custom made to order!
We can mail the prize pack, or you can pick it up in Pipestone, Jasper, or Sioux Falls from one of our board members!
Don’t think you can make it the full 546 yards? Don’t want to find out? Then you should definitely be a VIP - for an additional $25, you don’t even have to run! How awesome is that?!
You’ll be able to ride our shuttle (aka flatbed trailer) around the course from the comforts of which you can heckle the poor peasants who have to trek the entire half kilometer around. Relax, kick back, and smugly enjoy your clever avoidance of more work. You know you deserve it!
You still get your free beers, and all of the other goodies in the Participant Swag Bags.
The very BEST thing is you get a bigger medal than everyone else because you are more important!
- Sponsor our event! (for example – cover cost of insurance, donuts, t-shirts, medals, gift bags, etc)
All sponsors receive a Sponsor participant prize pack, and a larger Sponsor medal, along with their name or logo in corresponding sizes on our t-shirts, advertisement in local and regional newspapers, banners and website and social media pages.
$250, $500 and $1,000 levels include a photo collage gift commemorating your support.
- We would appreciate any swag items or coupons that you’d like to share in our swag bags for our participants, to advertise for you as well.
Click through to Registration and choose a Sponsor add-on pack!
We need you! There is a link at the top of the website for volunteer information and registration.
Ages 14 and up can sign up to help! Sign up station, handing out swag, handing out donuts and coffee, etc.
Please join us in making this fun and crazy event a success and help us raise money for roof repairs, plumbing work and grant writing, to preserve our beautiful quartzite building so we can achieve our goal of renovating it for the future use of the community!